Would It Kill You?
Media Guy's WIKYpedia: Would It Kill You to Stop It?
By Simon Dumenco
Would it kill you, New York Times, to admit that your much-hyped "Market Gauges" pages -- the successor to the stock tables --are a failed experiment? Nice try, but a static collection of charts and graphs and stats rendered in gray-scale is useless. Just send everyone to your interactive, real-time, colorful, online market-data array at nytimes.com, and be done with it. You're wasting your time, our time and newsprint.
Would it kill you, Conde Nast, to cut the self-congratulatory blather surrounding your distant-future business magazine? Glad you finally settled on a name -- Portfolio. Yippee. But with the hype dial already cranked up to 11, you're straying dangerously close to Talk magazine overkill territory. And since when is underscoring how excruciatingly slooooowwwww you are a good idea? April 24, 2007? Hollywood blockbusters with casts of thousands get made quicker than Portfolio. Chill out on the drum-beating and focus your energy on making a brilliant magazine, please.
Would it kill you, "Godless" author Ann Coulter, to do us all a favor and kill yourself? (Oh, well, yeah, I guess it would kill you.)
After her recent rabidly hateful, foaming-at-the-mouth, sub-human "Today" show appearance -- in which she reiterated her assertion that 9/11 widows are "enjoying their husband's deaths" -- even her former supporters began to fantasize about how much nicer the world would be if it were Coulterless.
By Simon Dumenco
Would it kill you, New York Times, to admit that your much-hyped "Market Gauges" pages -- the successor to the stock tables --are a failed experiment? Nice try, but a static collection of charts and graphs and stats rendered in gray-scale is useless. Just send everyone to your interactive, real-time, colorful, online market-data array at nytimes.com, and be done with it. You're wasting your time, our time and newsprint.
Would it kill you, Conde Nast, to cut the self-congratulatory blather surrounding your distant-future business magazine? Glad you finally settled on a name -- Portfolio. Yippee. But with the hype dial already cranked up to 11, you're straying dangerously close to Talk magazine overkill territory. And since when is underscoring how excruciatingly slooooowwwww you are a good idea? April 24, 2007? Hollywood blockbusters with casts of thousands get made quicker than Portfolio. Chill out on the drum-beating and focus your energy on making a brilliant magazine, please.
Would it kill you, "Godless" author Ann Coulter, to do us all a favor and kill yourself? (Oh, well, yeah, I guess it would kill you.)
After her recent rabidly hateful, foaming-at-the-mouth, sub-human "Today" show appearance -- in which she reiterated her assertion that 9/11 widows are "enjoying their husband's deaths" -- even her former supporters began to fantasize about how much nicer the world would be if it were Coulterless.
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